"Required reading" for today's smart writer.

"Required reading" for today's smart writer.
Information & inspiration to hone your craft and increase your cash...Since 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Top Take-Aways I Gained From Losses This Year

Life is often compared to a classroom.
And our ability to assess important information, heed timely lessons and learn from our myriad experiences greatly determines whether we will ultimately "graduate" to new levels of enhanced living and become our optimal selves.

Like it or not painful events, dysfunctional relationships and loss can impart valuable, developmental lessons along the way. I can attest. This year has been a perfect example. With only about 6 months in, I have already had to contend with freedom losses due to restrictions imposed by the current pandemic, income losses and sadly with a parent's earthly transition.

Still, these losses have provided some gains that shall remain with me-- in terms of wisdom, appreciation for everyday blessings, the beauty of friendships and more.

In no particular order, I share these "take-aways" gained to perhaps shorten your learning curve.
Feel free to add your own at the conclusion of this post, in the comments section.

1. You get what you give.

After I lost my mom, I got calls from various friends to check up on me and see if I needed any assistance in my time of grief. In all honesty, I could barely think straight at the time.
In sharing with one of my pals  how truly touched I was in terms of the great support and unselfish acts of my many friends, she said to me: "Jen, you get what you give."

The take-away

Karma is real, folks. What you put out in the universe will come back to you. Sometimes when you least expect it.

2. Give people their roses while they are living. 

Death is always inconvenient, no matter when we encounter it. Though I do regret that I didn't have more time with my mom, I definitely showed her in numerous ways how cherished she was in my life. Some might even say I spoiled her.
I would recommend that you do the same, when possible.

The take-away

Don't assume people know how you feel. Even if they do, you can never express sentiments of love too much. Take the time to spend quality time with your kids; tell your mate that he/she is appreciated; write a corny poem for a pal. Tomorrow is not promised.

3. Preserve your health.  

Whether it's the need to self-quarantine to protect from the Corona virus; making appointments for important health screenings; or deciding to finally quit smoking. Do it now. Don't procrasti-wait.

The take-away

"At risk" behaviors can greatly compromise our quality of life and shorten life spans.
The life you save may be your own.

4. Learn to be selectively selfish.

Like many women, I saw my mom, throughout her life make great sacrifices for her family, friends and those in need. And it wasn't always reciprocated, unfortunately.
It's good to extend ourselves to others, but  there's great validity to the expression:"You can't give from an empty cup."

The take-away

Sometimes we must put ourselves first...to last.

5. Say goodbye to grudges!

Grudges can steal valuable time, rob you of peace and add heaviness to your heart. Don't add to the drama. Don't let your happiness be held hostage. Sometimes people get us. Sometimes they don't.
The funny thing about death and loss is that it can cause relatives and friends to communicate and come together out of forced circumstances and the need for solidarity and support.

The take-away

For every loss there is a gain. Embrace it.

6. And "this too shall pass."

Unlike many people, the stay at home mandates imposed as a result of the pandemic, have not greatly bothered me. What has been more of an issue is not having things that I can specifically look forward to. Before Corona, my social calendar was filled with upcoming authors' events, summer barbecues and karaoke nights. Now, it's all on hold, indefinitely. 
In difficult times, it helps to remember that these days won't last forever. And who knows, some things may even improve in months to come. At least we can hope, right?

The take-away

Cherish each day. Celebrate small victories. Keep a positive mindset. Pray for better times.

Your turn.

Agree or disagree? 
What "take-away" did you get from my take-aways?  Do tell.

Image credits: Pixabay.com


  1. This is wonderful. Completely agree with all your take away points.
    We must take care of ourselves and each other.

  2. Thanks so much, Lin. I value your feedback.

    1. Upon reflection, I would add one more suggestion. In times of grief and loss, it's far better to say something to the suffering person or family, than to remain silent. A simple, "I'm sorry for your loss" can mean so much and require so little. Surprisingly, not everyone realizes this. :-)

  3. Replies
    1. Glad you think so, dear. Thanks very much for your input today.

  4. Excellent points, Jen. I think you are right on all counts. We aren't promised tomorrow. We definitely reap what we sow. (And I like how Charles Stanley once put it, "...We'll reap what we sow, more than we sow, and later than we sow...")

    Life here on earth is but a vapor. Love much and cherish those dear to you. Thanks for sharing your insight and advice. xo

  5. I would like to add one: Respect those around you. Don't telephone a friend after 9:00 unless you know they are still up. respect their privacy. Try not to call them when you know they have a family gathering. Take away: They appreciate the courtesy and will stay your friend.

    1. By the way, my friends observe a "curfew" for calling me too. :-) Unless it's an emergency.

  6. In the words of Aretha Franklin, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to me!" Thanks so kindly, Cecelia, for sharing here. Be well.