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Friday, May 8, 2020

The Up Side of Having my Life Turned Upside Down...

Welcome back, readers:
This is not the post I planned. But as Woody Allen formerly noted: "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."

Spoiler alert here: Before we embark upon today's journey, you may want to grab a cup of your favorite brew and maybe some Kleenex too.
This is gonna' get a little deep moving forward.

REWIND TO MY LAST POST

When I published my last entry here and set out to go on a break of sorts, I was in a pretty good place in my life. Though everyone had been adversely impacted by Covid-19, I was still embracing my blessings.
After all, I had more than my share of creature comforts; a loving family; food and shelter; my health; and a creative life that provides a great deal of joy and reasonable income.

As much as one could be during these uncertain times, I was looking forward to an array of things: my mom's birthday was right around the corner; spring was on the horizon with backyard projects; I was working on publishing a new poetry book; my work had been accepted for a few anthologies; etc.

Then it all changed. My life was turned upside down.
I got a call from my sister that my mom had been rushed to the hospital one Tuesday evening in an ambulance. And seemingly out of the blue.
My mom and I spoke nearly everyday. Sometimes multiple times a day.
I would visit her regularly, cook, clean and keep her company. 
In fact, I called her on this particular Tuesday and checked in to see how she was feeling before I left the house to see a client. She assured me she was doing fine.

I never heard from her again.
The details are still very cloudy to me.
But, my mom unexpectedly suffered a massive stroke and died from related complications, according to the hospital.
Talking about a world-changing moment....wow!
Words can not express the pain and loss I am feeling.

My mom was funny, fierce, fabulous and my friend. So much of who I am as a woman today was inspired, instilled and influenced by her. In fact, she's the reason I became a writer.

THE UPSIDE TO THIS TRAGEDY...

 

Even amid the dark days that followed her death, thankfully there was a proverbial "silver lining" to emerge in all this. During this very difficult time, as I navigate my way, I have been reminded of how truly blessed I am to have such fantastic friends across the country.
I am humbled, honored, touched and warmed by the outpouring of support and sympathy over the last few weeks.


HERE ARE A FEW THINGS THAT COME TO MIND WORTH MENTIONING:




  • A friend from Kentucky, who I met online years ago, offered to take over any of my creative projects and keep my blog updated so I could continue to grieve and come to terms with things (for as long as it reasonably takes).
  • A poetry buddy gave me a check for $500.00 to assist my family with funeral expenses.
  • A college buddy drove me around to handle burial arrangements, while waiting in her car for what seemed like an eternity. Never complaining.
  • I have gotten an array of cards, calls and financial contributions from folks near and far.
  • Even though I didn't expect my friends to come to the service (due to fears of the Corona Virus and related "stay at home" mandates), they came out anyway, to offer moral support and pay their last respects. In fact, when I arrived to the funeral service, some of my friends were there even before my family. 

I can't tell you how much this means to me (and my family as well) during this difficult time.

In closing, I would like to share a poem I wrote for my mom. I read this at her funeral.


ODE TO ARABELLA

 (In tribute to my mother)


We were
Debbie Reynolds
And
Carrie Fischer
Kind of close,
A bond
Uncommon 
To most--

She was my biggest 
Critic,
My most loyal 
Fan,
My
Emotional
“Right hand,”

We spoke 
Nearly everyday,
Laughing
Over silly
Girl’s stuff,
And troubles
Along life’s way,

Little did she know
For me
She was the equivalent
Of a 
Super hero,
My role model,
Though
Sometimes
My foe,

It still
Remains a mystery, 
How she raised 5 kids
And kept her sanity,

Later down the road
Returning to college
Successfully,

To complete 
A 4-year degree

Battling health challenges
Bravely,
Intermittently,

She was kind,
But never failed
To speak 
 Her mind,

No bigger inspiration
Could I ever find,

In this final chapter,
Through death
And living,

Her legacy
Is the gift
That keeps
On giving…



Thanks for reading. 
B/T/W---If your mom is still living, be sure to give her a call and share your love. Tomorrow is not promised.

Last, but not least...
Please excuse any typos, formatting or grammatical errors. As you might imagine, I'm not fully recovered yet. :-)
Have a great weekend, folks.

Jen




Image credits: 
Pixabay.com

21 comments:

  1. What a lovely poem and tribute to your sweet mother. You are blessed indeed. I know the "Jen" we see has a large part of Arabella within. She would be so proud of you, I'm sure. A loss like this is never easy - my thoughts and prayers for you and your family continue. So glad you've had such wonderful support; you are loved my friend.

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Karen. I feel the love across the miles. God bless you, dear friend.

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  2. Dear Jen - you have given us the most amazing insight into you and your mother - your courage here writing for us (so we can know and understand), letting us share a tiny bit of your lives. Your poem really does bring Arabella to our hearts ... just delightful in such sad, and so sudden times. My mother left us nearly 8 years ago ... but I send you many thoughts and hugs at this very difficult time for you - Hilary

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    1. Hi Hilary,

      So happy to hear from you again. Thanks so much for your kind words and thoughtful comment. Hugs back at ya'.

      Delete
  3. Jennifer, I am so very sorry for your loss. The pain will lessen but emerge when you least expect it. Your mom shines in you. Your words are precious and you are, too.

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    1. How lovely, Lin. Thanks for being a part of my blog "family."

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  4. Sorry for your loss. Yet, I can feel the love and respect for your mother. I bet she was so proud of you.

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    1. Ingmar,

      Indeed she was. And I was always trying to do things to earn her admiration. She kept me in line. :-)

      Delete
  5. I'm so sorry for your loss Jennifer. I know that pain well, having lost my mom decades ago. I don't know if it's politically correct to say this, but just a heads up, you'll never get over this, butyou will learn how to put it in a place where you can function again.

    My mom died in 1990, and still to this day, I can cry on the spot thinking about her I miss her so much.

    You're in my thoughts and prayers as you navigate this journey. Take care, and may your mom rest in eternal peace.

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  7. Thanks,Yuwanda. I appreciate you "keepin' it real." I certainly hope the pain subsides soon; if not I'm gonna' weigh a ton...😃

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  8. Jen,
    I continue to pray for you and your family
    as you navigate this very difficult time.
    What a beautiful poem,in tribute to your dear mom! She lives on everyday in you.
    Take care,
    Deb

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    Replies
    1. Deb,
      I value your time, feedback and friendship. Keep praying for us. Thanks so kindly. Hope to see you soon.

      Delete
  9. Jennifer,
    I am extremely sorry to learn of the loss of your beloved mother more so during this COVID-19 pandemic lockdown. The poem conveys how strong the bond between the two of you was. I had such a close relationship with my father and when he died , it took me several years to live comfortably with the loss. Take comfort in the love and support of your network of friends and in knowing that such good mothers always prepare their children to go on without them. Over time you will start noticing how she prepared you for her absence. She taught you to be strong and resilient so you will tap into this deep well to go on. Gradually you will pick up the pieces of your life and flourish. May God , the ultimate comforter walk you through this dark patch to the other side. I shall keep you in my prayers.
    Jane Nannono

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  10. Jennifer,
    I am extremely sorry to learn of the loss of your beloved mother more so during this COVID-19 pandemic lockdown. Your poem conveys how strong the bond between the two of you was. I had such a close relationship with my father and when he died it took me several years to live comfortably with the loss. Take comfort in the love and support of your network of friends and in knowing that such good mothers always prepare their children to go on with their lives in their absence. Over time you will notice how she empowered you and you will tap into this deep well to pick up the pieces of your life and flourish. May God the ultimate comforter walk you through this dark patch to the other side. I shall keep you in my daily prayers. Stand strong and firm in the faith.
    Jane Nannono

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    Replies
    1. Jane,
      Thanks so kindly. Your words are warm and comforting like a good blanket. Stand firm, I shall.

      Delete
  11. I thought of you on Mother's Day but didn't call because I didn't know what to say. On the one hand, I wanted to honor you for your role as Mom but I just didn't know the pain you were feeling, losing your mom, especially so close to Mother's Day.

    As I write this, I now realize I should have called. And I will do so the next time you come to mind. Be blessed.

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    Replies
    1. Marcie,

      Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts. And I am indeed blessed, in spite of this. :-)

      Delete
  12. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Your poem speaks volumes of the bond the two of you had. "Father God, please wrap Jennifer in Your arms of love. Draw her close to You, whisper words of comfort into her ear at this time. In the Name of Jesus, I pray. AMEN" Peace and blessings.

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    Replies
    1. Cecelia,
      Welcome back. Good to reconnect. Hate that it is under these circumstances, though. Thanks so much for your personal prayer here. Take care.

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  13. very nice Post thanks for sharing

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